When the Master Leaves, the Toys will Play
by TheFallenWriter
Summary: One-shots involving my toys who interact with other toys.   May contain plot soon.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: YAY! I got my comp fixed and found my backed up files.

Time to give credit where credit is due. Stories belong to their respected owners. The 'Fly away with your friends" line belongs to saphireblu987. The Shrunken to the aft belongs to Habitaul who can be a comic genius at times. Remilia and Sakuya belong to ZUN.

When the Master Leaves, the Toys will Play

Deep in the heart of Texas lays a small suburban neighborhood. Now before I continue, one would think that Texas is still backwatered and still in the ideal of the 'Old West' with cowboys, horses and whatnot. Well Texas is really just as updated as New York City is other than a few spots in Texas. But those are called 'Show Towns' to keep the ideal alive.

But I am getting off topic here. I am here to tell you about the phenomenon that happens whenever anyone leaves a room full of toys. You see, the toys live a life of their own, getting up and moving around when the masters are not looking at them, sometimes take on their masters personalities. One house in particular, I will show you this phenomenon in action. Let's zoom in on the house of the author, TheFallenWriiter. We see him leaving the house to get to work on time. And thus, our story begins.

"Sakuyyya!" Came the voice of a young girl, "There's a weird toy on my windowsill!" The owner of the voice was a toy with red eyes, short light-blue hair and a pair of black bat-like wings on back. Wears a pink mob cap and dress with bright red trimming and she is noticeably short. The person she called climbed up to the windowsill to answer her call. Sakuya, as the small girl called her, had dark blue eyes, silver hair and has a long braid on each side of the face. Wears a pink and dark blue French maid's outfit with long sleeves and a white bonnet on her head. The Roman numerals for 1 through 12 line the bottom of her apron.

"Do you want me to get rid of him Remilia?" Sakuya asked. The toy in question rested on the window. He looked to be some sort of mechanical being but we all know that if I just mention the name, we would all know who that is.

Barricade only looked at the two girls before turning away. "I don't see your name on the window." He said which made Remilia angry.

Remilia stomped over to Barricade. "I demand you to get out of my spot this INSTANT!" She demanded but Barricade didn't move nor did he even recognize her presence anymore. Sakuya walked up to him and started to push Barricade, in which he just placed a hand on the windowsill to keep himself from moving. Sakuya kept pushing but progress had been slow and about three minutes of pushing, she gave up and walked back to a now fuming Remilia. The toy vampire just glared before jumping off the windowsill for the walk back to the other room. Barricade only sighed in relief.

"Finally, thought those two would never leave." Barricade said. On his left (Your right if you are standing in the doorway), on a computer desk, sat a toy Prowl and a pretty ecstatic toy Jazz who was on the computer reading. Prowl only looked out at the room. The bed sat in the middle, still not made. The T.V. along with rejected game consoles sat next to the closet on the 'dirty' side of the room. The dresser housed a bible, a cross, and some loose papers and items that either have yet to be put in storage or even cleaned. The sock drawer, on the other hand, looked spotless even though it had been located on the 'dirty' side of the room. The clean side housed the computer chair, computer desk, and an old toybox shaped like a football.

_It's funny how our owner could live in a room only half done._ Toy Prowl mused. He got up and walked over to Jazz, who looked to be intent on reading whatever he looked at on the computer. "What story is it this time?"

Jazz turned to Prowl. "Oh, a story called _MSN Madness _by some writer named Wannabe Starscream. Not sure if you would like it though." He said and then turned back to reading the current story.

"Why is that?" Prowl asked while Jazz laughed at the story. He peered over to read what he just laughed at before looking away. "That's why; it's got adult humor in it." He said with a hint of disgust. While Jazz was into humor of all kinds, Prowl really wasn't and adult humor is one thing that he loathed. He questioned why some readers had a need to laugh at things such as 'sex' and other 'Mature' things. And from the way Jazz laughed, some toys too.

"Hey Prowler," Jazz said in between laughs, "What kind of stories do you find to be good?" he asked before laughing again. Prowl did think about it for a moment. While the site in question did have plenty of good reads, he wasn't one for romance or random humor as some writers seem to have a knack for. He preferred a logical scenario with a logical understanding. He didn't want some kind of human/otherworldly love relationship or even, from what the critics called it, slash. Whether it be funny or serious. Though one story did stand out to him in particular.

"The story is _What is a Friend by_ Habitaul. It's quite the read." Prowl stated.

"You mean the story about the 'con who decides to save a young girls life and then proceed to taking care of her in his own 'conny way?" Jazz asked. Prowl nodded and Barricade poked his head out from his spot on the window. "Too much fluff for me and besides, we all know that Barricade would not even care for the child."

"I have a spark you know." Barricade said from his spot on the window. Jazz just shrugged.

"You're a toy, you don't have a spark." Jazz stated back. Barricade grunted before he decided to ignore the duo.

Prowl decided to bounce the question his way. "So what about you Barricade, I know it's rare to see you reading anything that's not a novel but do you know any good stories from this site?" Barricade sat still for a moment.

"Actually, "Barricade jumped down onto the desk and walked over to the computer. "I do know one." He started to search the story on the site before continuing. "It's called _Fallout_ by Nan00k and that's with two Zero's."

"Ah, I like that one too. The post-Apocalyptic story is the best one I read so far, sad to see two of the characters die off to make room for two more." Jazz stated which earned a surprised look from Prowl. Barricade hopped back up to his spot knowing that his involvement in the conversation was over and that it was time for a new one with his friend from next door. Who is this friend you may ask? Well we will get into that in just one moment.

"I thought you only read the funnies?" Prowl asked.

"Naa, sometimes I like to branch out into other people's works." Jazz stated before returning to the computer. Well that was before Barricade interrupted him.

"Hey Jazz, G1 Starscream wants to talk to you." Barricade said and Jazz hopped up to windowsill. He grabbed the flashlight to talk via Morse code. Something that both parties learned to keep each other updated.

"_What's up Dorito?"_ Jazz asked, flashing the light on and off.

"_I am not a dorito, aft."_ Starscream

"_You still look like one."_ Jazz

"_Liar, I am boxy, not your movieverse slag!"_ Starscream. At that, Jazz grabbed an empty bag of Doritos (Lord only knows how they got there) and plastered it on the window before throwing the bag away and sending another message back.

"_Go fly away with your friends. :D"_ Jazz put down the light and turned his back to the window. A bad move as Barricade hastily hopped off the windowsill. Jazz looked at him in confusion before a loud bang from the window made him yelp, slip, and face plant the carpet floor. Barricade howled with laugher as Prowl climbed up to catch the last words that Starscream sent.

"Jazz, why do you fall for the same firecracker gag that happens every week?"

[][][][][][][][][][]

Prowl sat on the edge of the desk. He, along with Jazz and Remilia, watch a battle between Barricade and Sakuya on who could knock the other off the large bed. Barricade seemed to be winning as Sakuya edged closer to their side of the bed. Jazz was ecstatic about the events as Remilia was, once again, fuming.

"Go Barricade! Kick her aft off the bed!" Jazz yelled. Remilia glared at him before yelling some words of 'encouragement.'

"Sakuya, if you don't win this, I will NEVER let you live this down!" She yelled.

On the bed, Sakuya took a chance to smack Barricade across the helm, which failed as Barricade ducked under it. "You say you're a perfect and elegant maid but you suck a fighting." Barricade said as he threw a right hook.

Sakuya caught his hand before it could make contact with her face. "I am perfect," She said as she tripped him to get around. Barricade fell onto the bed, VERY close to the edge, but recovered and put some distance from the edge and Sakuya finished her sentence. "And elegant at fighting." She then took out a toy knife from her dress and threw it at Barricade, who ducked and ran to grab his Shrunken that rested next to a pillow.

"If you want a fight with weapons then you got one." Barricade said and charged after Sakuya.

"Such a cheesy one liner." Remilia said. Jazz just looked at her.

"You're just mad that Sakuya threw her only weapon." Jazz stated with a grin. Remilia threw a grin of her own at the toy.

"You really think that she keeps one knife under that dress?" She asked, mocking him in some way or another.

As Barricade rushed her, Sakuya pulled out another knife and parried his shrunken. She smiled as she swiped the knife blade at Barricade's side, causing him to jump back. She then threw her knife at him again and Barricade blocked it. In the middle of the throw, Sakuya rushed him and disarmed him quickly. Sakuya then jammed the pointed end of his shrunken into Barricade's aft, causing him to yelp like a little girl.

"What the frag was that for!" Barricade asked while rubbing his aft a bit.

"Because," Sakuya threw his weapon back at him and then kneed Barricade off the bed. "I just won." Jazz sat there dumbfounded and Prowl chuckled.

"YEAH, go Sakuya!" Remilia yelled, got up, and jumped up and down from her spot on the desk.

"That was a cheap shot." Jazz stated with a hint of anger. Barricade picked himself off the carpet floor in annoyance. Sakuya then jumped down and handed him his shrunken.

"Good fight." She said. Barricade growled in annoyance, but took his weapon. He then watched Sakuya walk back to the other room. Remilia hopped down to the carpet, silently mind you, snuck up on Barricade, and pinched him HARD in the aft. Causing him to emit a girly yelp once again. He turned around to smack Remilia but she was gone. Behind him, the toy vampire skipped down the hall to the other room, blissfully.

"One of these days…"

[][][][][][][][][][]

A/N: Wow, that felt like a crossover but don't worry, those two will remain in the other room for the next few chapters.


	2. WFC?  No more like WTF

A/N: I was kind of sad when I noticed that no one reviewed my most recent chapter of my Guidelines series. *gets shot for being self-minded* Getting off that topic, I noticed that on Chapter six where I wrote on a MSN chapter with Vampire-Optimus, my word count for chapter six reached **668**. That kind of scares me considering that **666** is the mark of the Devil and that chapter happened to be Chapter six written on August 6th.

I'm scared now….

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Come on, come on, come on, comeoncomeoncomeon NONONONONONO!" Jazz yelled as the character on screen died due to the Zombie infection once again. "I'll never get past the damn police station!" From his usual spot on the windowsill, Barricade poked his head out to see the end of Jazz's weeping for his new loss, even though he has been losing at the same game for at least an hour.

"Why don't you use Yoko instead of Kevin, she can carry more items. Or even use Cindy who can hold twice as many healing items than the rest of the group." Barricade said. Jazz selected an on screen character to get ready for another round.

"Because Kevin has the most rounded stats and starts off with a better handgun." Jazz stated. Barricade looked around the room, which was surprisingly clean for a change. He leaned back on the window and fell back to sleep. After a while, Jazz stood up from his spot on the floor and began the climb to the windowsill, Climbing up the drawers, the bed, and had a little help from the car trio, Muscle, Flame, and Wheelie. After a few minutes and some curses, Jazz climbed to the windowsill next to a sleeping Barricade. He crept closer, making sure not to make any loud noises that would wake the sleeping toy. As he crept closer to put his little plan in place, someone from across the hall shattered his plans.

"AWW FRAG IT ALL! WHERE'S MY LEG!"

Jazz jumped from the sound and fell on top of a now pissed off Barricade, who pushed him off the windowsill. Jazz yelled before landing on the bed, in which if he was human he would have blushed for his rather high pitched yell from a foot down. Prowl poked his head out from the secluded spot in his toybox and looked out the door to the room across the hall. Though the room across the hall had no lights on and was almost shrouded in darkness. Prowl saw a figure hopping around on one leg.

"Hasbro, why would you make a toy with detachable body parts?"

Prowl hopped out of the toybox and Jazz slid off the bed. The duo waited for Barricade to hop down but for some reason, the toy didn't join them. Jazz looked up to the windowsill, waiting to see Barricade. "Hey 'Cade, you coming?"

"Uhhh…" Barricade said, not poking his head out. "I think I will sit this one out for good reasons."

"You sure?" Jazz asked. "Or are you afraid of the big bad voice."

"Jazz, I will rip you in two just like what Megatron did in the first movie." Barricade said, with a hint of annoyance.

"Touché, very touché." Jazz said and started walking down the hall. Prowl followed behind. The walk down to the other room took around two minutes (less than thirty seconds in our walks) and they stopped in front of the dark room. From what little light they had they could make out a crib but that was the only thing they could see. Jazz took a step closer before a WFC Optimus Prime toy hopped out on one leg.

"Anyone seen my leg?" He asked. Prowl just shrugged and Jazz nodded.

"Sparking got you again?" Jazz asked. Optimus just sighed and hopped to the side of the crib.

"He has the nose of a predicon sometimes. I choose a great hiding spot and he somehow finds me." Optimus vented. "Next thing I know, I am souring down the stairs and my leg comes off. "

"Well it beats being left inside my owners backpack." Jazz stated. His optics scanned the room and he noticed a blue foot pad resting on top of the dresser. "Found your leg. Prowl, give me a boost." Jazz asked. He walked over to the dresser but didn't hear a word from Prowl. "Prowl?" He looked at the doorway to only see a sign sitting right outside.

The sigh read: _Going back to the toy box, be back whenever._

Jazz sighed and started climbing up the dresser. "This might just be a long day."

[][][][][][][][][][][][]

"Come on Barricade, why are you hiding?" Jazz asked back in the main room.

"Because I don't want to see _him."_ Barricade replied, not showing himself from his spot near the window.

"Why?" Jazz asked.

"Because I want to avoid a fight."

"Why?"

"Because I know that things are going to go to hell and fast."

"Why?"

"Because I know that Prime will kick my aft if we were to fight."

"Why?"

"Jazz," Barricade said annoyed. "If you ask why one more time, just ONE MORE TIME, I will tear your bloody head off."

"Okay how about this?" Jazz said. This made Barricade poke his head out of his spot. Jazz started to…sing?

"_And notice this you send_

_One of them while you cower far from harm_

_They will just disappoint you."_

At this, Optimus hopped onto the windowsill, making Barricade jump. And Jazz continued.

"_Now it's done_

_We're divided_

_Call him home_

_This one's misguided."_

Barricade hopped down from the windowsill, only to run face to face with Jazz. Optimus hopped down and took this time to speak. "I see his hands, covered in my children's blood and His eyes do not waver."

"_Call me wrong_

_The future needs us_

_Your answer's deaf_

_You will mislead us."_

Jazz took a few steps towards Barricade, who stepped back only to run into Optimus. "And how quick you had him dispatch his brothers," Optimus grabbed him and threw Barricade at the wall. "You call this Murderer a Savior."

"_Can you_

_Not feel_

_That we could have a lifeforce of steel_

_I only ask that you see what I see_

_This is the answer I want you to see."_

Barricade stood up only to have Optimus grab him by the helm and throw him to the side, right into the side of the toybox.

At this moment, Prowl popped out of the toybox just to snap his fingers to get the reader's attention. "I know how you wanted to see Optimus maul Barricade but I gotta point this out to you, throughout this entire chapter, I stayed mute. I wonder how many of you noticed this and how I am breaking the fourth wall by telling you this. T.F.W. would like to congratulate those who noticed before this point by setting a Chibi Starscream at your doorstep. Enjoy the insanity." A pause. "Oh you wanted to know what happened to Barricade since I took your attention off of them for this announcement? Well last I checked, Optimus hogtied him and dragged him to T.F.W.'s sister's room where a very angry Kingdom Hearts 2 Sora waits to get his revenge. Barricade asked me to save him, but I think he deserves this one." Prowl than waved at you beloved readers. "Goodbye now."


End file.
